Wednesday, Wednesday

I'm not quite sure what I'm writing about, so I guess it's just alot of nothing. Streaming, mindless raving. Works for me.

Show of hands for people who battle depression. Yes, me too. I think so, anyway. I think I'm in the throes of it now. I only just want to be in bed. That's all I want to do. I never want to get out of bed. I'm tired all the time, anything can make me cry, AND... I just don't care about it. I don't care about much of anything. I keep fighting with my husband, which actually isn't all that odd. I'm just fighting with him NOW and it should have been happening all along because he has definitely deserved it for years. I cannot express how true that statement is. He won't really fight back, either, which usually makes me even more mad, because really? Have you no balls? It gets irritating. I hate everyone right now, up to and including myself. My kids are exempt from that statement. Okay, I don't hate Michelle. She's the only one who doesn't change. I don't want to think about NYE again, because I made some drunk admissions that I SHOULD NOT HAVE MADE. Oh, stupid drunk conversations. The thing is... I know her opinion of me hasn't changed. I do know that I considered ending my friendship with her because of what I said to her while I was drunk. It was that bad! Oh well, from what I can tell, nothing has changed. I guess I'm not that good at maintaining relationships. I like solitude. I think my death would be unimportant and a non-event. It's really sad to know that you are not memorable to people. I mean, my family is one thing. But otherwise... I would probably be anguished at the turnout for my funeral.