Banner FREAKIN' Week

I don't know about anyone else, but my new years has been many things, and HAPPY is not really one of them. What I mean to say is this: LIFE SUCKS. Common refrain, we all feel the pain. I know.

So what happened? Well, it went something like this - I woke up sicker than a dog on NYD. Sore throat, achy, puking, chills, fatigue. Then it developed into this horrible sinus infection and ear infection. I mean, just horrifying. So that's how it all started.

Secondly, as I posted 2 days ago... I lost a friend. And no condolences are necessary, becuase it's not as if he died. But our friendship did I guess, and so now he has just extricated himself in one fluid motion. Now he's just gone. Not talking to me or anything. Which, whatever, but it's not very mature. I feel like he just needs to man up about stuff, but that's not his fragile little nature. He becomes and stays obsessed by/with people or things or whatever, and I think right now, I'm not an attachment for him so it's easy to shut himself down, to stop talking to me at all. STILL HURTS!

And lastly.... During my annual performance review yesterday, I was basically told that I need to prove myself and my job relevant, or we are both out of here. My timeline: by the end of March. Wow. I've been at this company almost 10 years. And I've seen it happen before, that loyalty means nothing here, and neither does your level of knowldege. I suppose I just thought I might never see it firsthand. Way to make your employees feel valued! What's next? Wanna go practice killing baby squirrels? Wanna go pluck ducklings?

Also, lest I forget, I'm getting fatter by the day. It's really disgusting. I need to focus. And get back on a sensible eating plan, and actually follow it. I would like to lose 40 pounds by June. That is totally doable.